Lori Klein

Leah Blumah

[German]

When I was born, my parents gave me three names: an American name, Lori and a two-part Jewish name composed of Hebrew and Yiddish, Leah Blumah. My family was secular when I was young, so I had little occasion to use my Jewish name; I just knew it was there, a symbol of my dual identity in the United States as a not quite assimilated American Jew.

I have had difficulty accepting my Jewish name. When I was a child, I asked my mother what it meant and she said, "weary flower." I did not see myself as weary or as a flower. I was an active, smart, dirty-behind-the-ears tomboy. Later I learned who Leah was in the Torah and I liked my name even less. Leah was the un-desired, perhaps unattractive wife, the one who could only prove her worth by birthing so many sons. My first knowledge of Leah served only to reinforce my self-image as a teenager and young woman who was undesirable and unattractive.

As an adult, I joined a group of women who created and celebrated rituals together. Each us chose a sacred name to be used in the group. Most of the other women chose goddess names. I could not. The only name I thought I could use with integrity was Leah Blumah. What could I do to redeem this name?

I went to the women's bookstore to look for feminist Bible commentary. One interpretation called to me. The names of Leah's first three sons, Reuben, Simeon and Levi, were expressions of her unfulfilled desire to be loved by Jacob. When Leah had her fourth son, however, she named him Judah, meaning, "I will praise G'd." Leah had recognized her right to a positive self-identity and re-oriented herself towards G'd. With this deeper knowledge of Leah, I could at last claim her name as my own, as I learned self-love and turned my face to G'd.

Lori Klein lives in Santa Cruz, California, and is rabbinical student in the Aleph Rabbinic Program.

A call to our readers

Jewish Women’s Groups, Rosh-Chodesh, Shiurim, Prayer and Study Groups, Egalitarian Minyanim

We are accepting contributions from Jewish women’s groups and related activities for a Bet Debora handbook. The topics are new liturgies and rituals. We want to know:

• Who are you?

• How often do you meet?

• What is your aim?

• What do you do?

Your contribution should be set in attractive form and describe one of the rituals you have created or contain a new text of a prayer. Using photographs to illustrate the contribution would be greatly appreciated!

Please direct contributions and questions to: rachelherweg@gmx.net