Salean Maiwald

Converts – or Who is the Most Jewish in the Community?

[German]

I feel a burst of sheer joy when I think I was in the right place at the right time and was able to convert here in Berlin. Period. That may sound pathetic, but it cannot be changed by a few comments from Jewish friends and acquaintances: “You’re now a great worry“; “What else do you want to become? Black?”; “If you had to convert, couldn’t you have found a ‘nicer’ religion?”

No. I chose Judaism. I could write a novel about the reasons why. Maybe I will do that some day. For now, I will give you a few notes from the unwritten manuscript in advance. I feel often that I am an archaeologist at heart. I am interested in roots and I wanted to return to the original religion with its rich ritual life. I am moved because time gains another dimension. On one page of the Talmud are present the Hebrew words of participants in a discussion that has been going on for centuries.

Again and again, the “Hebrew language body” amazes me. I cannot describe it any other way. Hebrew, with its mystic dimensions, is far more than a language. But the language itself as a pure means of communication makes it possible for Jews, whether they are foreign or local, to feel at home in any synagogue in the world, because services everywhere are held in Hebrew.

A woman who has an active role in the Hebrew bible, Ruth, appeals to me. She also knew where she felt at home. Ruth asserts herself and refuses to be sent away. Tamar took what was ascribed to her according to Levirate law. She would not permit her father-in-law to destroy her life.

A bit of sadness comes up when I am asked about my parents. I often say I am a Jew by choice. Then sometimes I get a doubtful look, or a drawn out, “oh, so ...”, and separating walls threaten to spring up. But most of the time, if I do not avoid this look and quickly check the reservations they have either towards me or for themselves then I receive a cautious smile. That smile freezes, however, when I witness the competition, “Who is the most Jewish person in the community?” The players are Jews by choice, Jews with Jewish mothers or fathers, and “racially pure” Jews. I was initially rendered speechless when a young man at a synagogue recently described himself in that way.

Salean A. Maiwald works as a freelance author and painter in Berlin. Her last publication was "Von Frauen enthüllt - Aktdarstellungen durch Künstlerinnen vom Mittelalter bis zur Gegenwart," (Uncovered by Women – Representations of Acts by Women Artists from the Medieval Period to the Present, AvivA-Verlag).