Intergenerational Consequences

[German]

The intergenerational consequences of having a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother (for the sake of brevity children of such unions will be known as Vaterjuden in this piece) repeatedly falls by the wayside when Jewish identity is being discussed. Last year I spoke with three rabbis and conducted ten interviews about this issue.

Regardless of whether they had Communist parents, were raised in a secular home or in another faith, or speak of a “Jewish childhood”, they all share one experience – the resistance of other Jews when Vaterjuden describe themselves as Jews without a “kosher seal”. In this moment they are seen as aliens by virtue of the term they use to describe themselves. Experiences of exclusion are generated and passed on to following generations along with all their consequences. For those who are youngest, the threshold for approaching Judaism is raised to a higher level.

The subconscious guilt of the father about an inability to pass on Jewishness “correctly” due to marriage with a non-Jew plays a role that cannot be underestimated. At the same time, the official Jewish community denigrates the contribution of the mother to the raising of the child, because it deems her the reason for a lack of Jewishness. And that, despite the fact that because of her relationship with a Jew – no matter what the form or for what reason – she must at least be psychologically confronted with the Shoah.

As descendants, Vaterjuden are confronted with the consequences of the Shoah to the same degree as the children of Jewish mothers. Reports from relevant Jewish counselling centres and studies, particularly from Gabriele Rosenthal, indicate this clearly. Precisely in families that have experienced trauma is the freedom of choice of the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren limited. Their choices about how to structure their lives are more restricted than the current, more economically oriented “liberal Zeitgeist” would have it.

What is known as the “emotional self-service shop”, through that an individual is able to cobble together an identity that appears fitting in the moment, is a fiction when it comes to all types of discussion about belonging. The special tragedy of the Vaterjuden results from the ignorance of official Judaism about the fact that they have to overcome the same intergenerational problems caused by the Shoah that children of Jewish mothers, Mutterjuden, do.

Rabbis in particular fail to be sufficiently sensitive to the special problems of Vaterjuden. They deal with Vaterjuden as they would candidates for “normal” conversion. The Vaterjuden often find this humiliating because their situation has been perceived inadequately (is perceived as inadequate). As a result, the community in certain cases loses potential members who are highly motivated.

Solutions can be found on both sides of the “defining line”. The community should develop sufficient understanding for the problems of Vaterjuden, which should lead to a more inclusive stance in their case. It would be ideal if each community had a contact person who was responsible for such cases and special conversion courses designed to provide a greater economy of time due to the special situation of Vaterjuden.

Perhaps it is also about time for Vaterjuden to organise their own group to represent their interests and to share experiences with others affected by the problem. They could soften the psychological effects and also pursue their aims publicly in the form of demands. The Shoah may be part of the past, but it continues to affect the lives of the descendants of the victims. If it was possible in talmudic time to redefine Jewish descent as matrilineal, then in view of the enormous intergenerational burdens, it should be possible to redefine it again, and today.

SN